There are no words -- edited

I had to call the hospital at about 8o'clock on September 15th to see if they had to room and/or find out what time to show up. They told me that they would call me when they were ready for me. My mom arrived about an hour before I got the phone call -- I was a NERVOUS wreck. I didn't want to sit down for long, I wanted to get the phone call and get the show on the road. I was sick to my stomach, the anxiety was definitely getting the best of me. I got the phone call at about 10oclock and they told me to head that way in about 20-25 minutes. My mom followed us up there and Michael drove me. We got to the hospital and the nurse came and got me, and took me up to the 3rd floor of St. Joesph's Hospital in Bryan, TX. The feeling I was feeling; I can't explain. First of, I HATE hospitals. I can't stand the smell, and a good thing is that St. Joe's L&D was newly remodeled, so it didn't have the "hospital" smell, yet. : ) Secondly, I HATE needles. Why did I get pregnant you ask? Because I knew it would be all worth it; but that definitely didn't take away the fear. My mom took a picture right before I was officially "admitted" into the hospital. You can see in my face at how scared I was.

The nurse started the IV, took my vitals, etc. My mom left before they started the medicine, which was to soften up my cervix which was about 12ish. While on the machine, I was having contractions, and had no idea. Didn't feel any of the minor contractions that I was having on a regular basis. I didn't start feeling the contractions until about 3am, and that was off and on. The nurse also came in about 3am and gave me another dose of the medicine. But don't think that I was able to actually rest, because I wasn't. Every couple of minutes the machine automatically took my blood pressure; I mean who can sleep peaceful(even WITH sleeping pills!) when this machine is squeezing your arm off? Seriously? && not to mention it sounded horrible. I basically watched TV and told Michael to try to get some sleep because apparently we were going to be at "this" stage for awhile, since my doctor was predicting us not to have him until September 17 early morning. He tried, but he wasn't really to sleep well. At about 6am, the contractions started getting more intense. Michael asked if he should text my mom, and I said, "no, because I don't think anything will happen for awhile." She was coming at about 8am, no matter what. So I thought it would be okay to let her sleep...I don't think she was though. ; ) Which she wasn't because about that same time, she text us and asked how everything was going. So Michael told her that the contractions were coming relatively close. She let us know that she was getting ready and would be up there shortly. At about 7am, I had to go to the bathroom, so the nurse came and helped me, since I was still REALLY loopy from the Ambien that she gave me to help me sleep/relax -- she helped me get back into bed and she went out the door; not even 5 seconds later; my water broke. I looked at Michael and said, "Hmm, my water broke I think." He ran out the door and got the nurse again; which confirmed that my water had indeed broke. At that time, I knew the contractions were going to get more intense(I mean that is what happens on the TLC shows I had watched the few days before to get me ready...haha!), so I decided to have Michael text my Mom and let her know. That definitely got her up and running. And those TV shows weren't lying, the contractions got really intense -- I learned very quickly that I would be one of the lucky ones to have back labor. I would have Michael push as hard as he could on my lower back during each contraction. He would watch the monitor and see when they would start and automatically get to pushing. It helped me concentrate on him pushing on my back then the pain itself.

*Michael pushing on my back during a contraction*

My mom got there shortly after 8, and I was in full force active labor -- back labor. Michael needed to eat breakfast, so my mom stayed with me while Michael went to eat breakfast -- and she was the designated "push on Ashlee's back during a contraction" person until Michael came back. My mom notified everyone in my family on her way to the hospital and Michael took a few seconds to let his family know of the update. Michael's mother was the only one from his family that was coming to the hospital but she had an appointment for work before she would even be able to leave Houston to come this way. My family was already on their way since the first phone call telling them my water had broke.

My nurse gave me some medication to try to relieve the pain some, but warned me that it would make me feel loopy. I said, "Give it to me anyways!" It went through my IV & immediately I felt faint and weird. I looked at Michael and told him that I didn't feel so well, he let the nurse know & she looked at me and said, "that's normal, I told you it would make  you feel weird." I said, "okay, but I don't feel my back?!" They both laughed. I went to sleep -- I took about an hour nap; but apparently I was saying off the wall stuff randomly...I kept my my mom & Michael laughing. : ) That medicine wore off at about 915 and by 930 my doctor came in to check on my progress. She wasn't informed that my water had broke; once she found that out she said I was about a 6 and that she would recommend me get the epidural because of the intensity of the contractions already. She then said, "By the way, is your family on their way? Because I said he wouldn't be here until tomorrow early morning...well, I think he'll be here this afternoon." I told Michael that he needed to let his mother know if she wanted to me here in time for the birth that she needed to hurry because when it was time...I was pushing. : ) My family and dad were already on their way.

At 930, I received the epidural. That was the worst experience throughout the whole thing. The doctor administering the medicine was super rude and second my spine is curved...so he had to stick me like 5 times. Oh it hurt so bad...but let me tell you --- it was TOTALLY worth it. I didn't feel anything at first. Then all of a sudden, my side and back just ached...I couldn't get comfortable and every time I moved Jeremiah would get distressed. It got to the point that they were telling me not to move. Once they got Jeremiah stable -- they asked for another doctor to come in and give me a "boost" through the epidural IV....now, that stuff was MAGIC. I didn't feel anything from my hips down. I seriously went straight to sleep except for the random "do I still have a butt?" questions that I would ask & then when Michael would say, "yes, babe you do." I would say, "I can't feel it." : )

By 1115 I was dilated to an 8 and I was fast asleep after the nurse checked me. She told me to get my rest because in the next hour or so, I would be pushing my little heart out. Little did I know, she wasn't making a joke. Family started coming in, but I have no idea when exactly..because I was fast asleep. At about 12, the nurse came in and checked me and I was dilated to an 9. Michael said, "How will she know if she's ready to push if she can't feel anything?" The nurse said, "When you hear a baby crying from under the sheets." : ) She said, that she would notify Dr. Bertsch and that she would start getting prepared. After she checked me, I went back to sleep. Seriously -- it was pretty amazing -- I recommend the epidural boost to ANYONE. : )At 1245, she checked me again and said I was at a 10 and ready to push, but they had to wait for Dr. Bertsch, she was in another delivery room delivering and then she would be right out. So family was able to stay in the room until then, I took that opportunity to get in one last rest time before the pushing...for hours started (or that's what I've heard happens...). My dad looked at me taking a nap dilated to a 10 sleeping, and said, "You know, if she would be in a little more effort in this...we could have a baby already." At 1:09 my dad posted on facebook that they were just kicked out of the delivery room.

The nurse wanted me to try to push just to see. After ONE push, she said, "Hmm, stop pushing -- you're already crowning. We have to wait for the doctor now." So we talked...waited for about 10 minutes. Dr. Bertsch came in we made some jokes...she got ready and came "in position" and said, "next contraction, we'll push." Contraction came, I pushed for 10 seconds. The nurse said, "hmm, you'll have this baby in one more push." Jeremiah's nurse said, "How many is this for you?" Michael, mom & myself all said, "this is her/my first." She said, "Oh my -- with your next children you might want to just stay at the hospital for the last two weeks of your pregnancy...because they're just going to slip right out of you." We laughed; contraction came; I pushed; Jeremiah Kurt Strange was born on September 16th @ 1:20pm. He was beautiful. He went to the "baby heater." Michael videotaped him; but about 5 minutes later -- Jeremiah stopped breathing. Then he would let out a whine, and stop again...he kept doing that so they had to call the NICU in immediately -- but because my son is apparently the jokester; he started crying right when the NICU's doctors and nurses came in.

Minutes old <3

After they examined him for a few minutes, they said he was fine and it might have been caused by the shock of the delivery. I got to hold him first; and there are no words to describe how I felt. It's the best feeling in the world. That moment changed my life forever. This is one of my favorite pictures from that day. : )

Family was able to come in the room to meet my precious baby. I wasn't feeling that great since my blood pressure had dropped. But they got that stable and had me eat something. Let me tell you, 30 minutes after birth --- you will eat about anything they put infront of you. They gave me a tuna sandwich and a coke! It was yummy! Daddy(Michael) took Jeremiah to the nursery to get his measurements. Family went to the nursery to watch from the window while I ate lunch. He came back and announced that Jeremiah Kurt was 7lbs 8.8oz and 20 inches long. He was perfect. They started getting myself packed, but I had some complications with being really weak afterwards, so they had to do more bloodwork before they would move me to my post partum room. Michael moved our stuff, and eventually they moved me.

Unfortunately, Jeremiah had to stay in the nursery through the night, since he had a couple of episodes after birth; they just wanted to keep him to monitor him better and make sure he doesn't have another episode. Family started leaving and my mom and nana went back to our to stay the night. The nursery doctors let us see and feed Jeremiah an oz at about 930 and we got to keep him for about 45 minutes. It was great I got to hold him, look at his toes and find out that he had his daddy's toes completely. I just studied him...and snuggled with him. I wasn't feeling well still(which we found out later that it was because I lost too much blood during delivery due to the placenta previa) but that didn't stop me from holding my baby. He was seriously, perfect. Nothing wrong with him at all. : )

*Our 9pm meeting*

The next day was better, and I got stronger and stronger  --- here's some pictures leading up to going home.

 *Our first family picture -- my birthday*

*After I took a shower -- the BEST feeling in the world -- a fresh bath and holding my sweet baby boy on my birthday*

Yes, I had the best 24th birthday EVER -- I delivered my baby the day before my birthday. Best Birthday ever. There are no words. Seriously.


*** Edited***
From the beginning of my induction Michael and my mom were telling the nurses that I was a wimp & I was going to give them a run for their money. Not going to lie, the IV & the epidural I might have been a wimp -- but whatever. : ) But after I delivered Jeremiah in two pushes Michael kept telling me "you're amazing...you did amazing." He kept me smiling, because I LOVED hearing him telling people that "Ashlee was amazing. She did perfect." I absolutely loved it. It was a very special time for Michael & I. Everytime Jeremiah was wheeled in our room for short visitations, Michael would jump up & look at me & say, "he's here. he's here." (Like I couldn't hear the door open after the knock the nurse would do.haha!) It was so amazing to see Michael with him, I had never seen him with a newborn before, and it melted my heart. The way he looked at me was totally different from when it was just Michael & myself, we had a baby that showed everyone the love that Michael & myself have for each other. It's amazing. The first time I saw Michael hold Jeremiah, I had a tear in my eye -- I knew he has always wanted to be a daddy & that was the best gift i could have given Michael. The next day after Jeremiah was born, was actually my birthday. I was still recovering from losing so much blood, so I had to spend my 24th birthday in the hospital, but i will tell you if you are going to spend any birthday in the hospital....make it the day after you have your baby...b/c it made it all better! I was uncomfortable, but family made it worth it, for sure! Mom & Nana stayed with me & Jeremiah while Michael ran home to take a shower, rest some & apparently run some errands! He came back with the most beautiful necklace with Jeremiah's and my birthstone & a gorgeous card. Love that man! My mom & nana brought me Texas Roadhouse for dinner!! Birthday Dinner in the hospital! It was freakin' amazing! I was released Saturday, finally -- and that was also the day that my Uncle Gerald, Aunt Breezy, Rylan, Kayleigh, and Aunt Nette were coming to meet Jeremiah for the first time. It was a great time. We went home & just relaxed for the rest of the day. It was great to have my little family home and it was great to not be pregnant anymore. : )

Like I have said before -- there are no words to describe the way I felt that day & even today when I look at my son. There are no words & there will never be words to describe it. : )