The Sweetest Lady

This morning I went into my son's room while he was playing. I laid on my tummy beside him; he got up and laid the same way in front of me watching me play with one of his toys with the biggest smile on his face -- I smiled, and then tears came down. My Mimi has been heavy on my heart lately. I miss that lady so much and the fact that my son won't get to meet her and know how amazing she was hurts. I know she would have fallen in love with him as we all did. I would have LOVED to see her with my baby boy. I'm not saying he doesn't have amazing people already that make a point to be in his life on a daily or weekly basis, but there was something special about my Mimi. She NEVER saw the bad in people. She always had a positive perspective in every situation. Miranda Lambert's new song "Over You" is a perfect way to describe it.

I loved going to visit her in her home in San Antonio. I believe that's why I love the city so much. So many great memories there with my Mimi. I'm blessed to have had her in my life and you better believe she will be in my son's life. I miss her terribly, but know she's in a better place now.

I miss you Mimi....I love you. I'll see you again one day - until then watch over us!



No Regrets

A couple of weeks ago I had a friend make me a sign that had Michael's and mine anniversary date on it with the phrase, "I always knew it was you." It's true. There has NEVER been a doubt in my mind that we were meant to be with each other. Even though others have doubted our togetherness, his family specifically. It's always been what we knew was right and wanted. I had always dreamed of a man that would end up being the love of my life, father of my children, my soul mate, my lover...and every time I had a man like Michael in mind. I remember we met at a ice cream shop in College Station and closed the place down...just by talking all night. We talked about our families, memories, our past...we laid it all out on the table. I left thinking he was special and I had to get to know him more.

It's funny, how love works...you know it from the time you have a deep conversation with the person and from there - it goes on forever. You never have regrets and you NEVER think about the "what ifs" after the fact. Don't get me wrong -- we have had our ups and downs, but since we had to live apart for 4 weeks our love has become stronger and since other "things" have come out in the open -- our relationship has blossomed far more than we ever thought it could.  We have "family" try to pull us apart and tell Michael the "truth"(hilarious!!) about me, but it won't work -- because this love is real and forever.

The way you know it's meant to be...is if you follow your heart. And if you have to be drunk to marry the person...it's not meant to be...a meant to be divorce, maybe?.

Michael Keith Strange, Jr is my soul mate, lover, father of my child, father of my future children, best friend. Period. He's my favorite always and forever. We refer to each other as our "favorite" and he had "always and forever" engraved in my wedding ring. It fits us to a T. My favorite always and forever.

Guilt

Everyone has bad days -- it's a given -- every human has at least one bad day in a given time. It being due to their job, their kids not wanting to get up in the morning - which makes them late for work, spilling their coffee, or forgetting their lunch....but none of that compares to why today is a bad day for me ---- every year. Some "bad days" are unpredictable until you start the day off, but I know today on 11/18 of every year will be a bad day for me. I know the day before, I know two weeks before, I know that when this day comes around...I will have a bad day. Today brings memories with it every year....it brings tears every year. I dread this day every year -- even though it's my amazing Nana's birthday...I dread this day. My bad day isn't like anyone else's so called "bad day" -- my brings more than disagreeing with a co-worker, or having to drag your child out the door & throw them into class, stained pants, or hunger pains -- my "bad day" brings much much more.

Today marks a tradegy. A tradegy that I wish I could stop from happening this day 6 years ago. A tradegy that has changed and impacted so many lives - it's unbelievable. This day 6 days ago God took another Angel -- but he also took someone's son, a friend to so many, a brother, the "class clown." Today doesn't get easier...I was told it would -- but it doesn't. Today comes with the sounds of tires screeching, yelling/screaming, horns honking, sirens...it also comes with tears, crying, sadness, silence....and guilt. Yes, I said it -- it comes with guilt. I dread this day....but in reality I should be counting my blessings, and believe me I do -- but I also have guilt. I know there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome, God had the plan -- but I'm also human. We feel guilt.

Today is always rough, but never ever forgotten.

<3 RIP Dan Domas <3
4/5/1986-11/18/2005

House/Drama/Party/5K Walk/Drama = the last two months

Life has been nothing but amazing these last few months we have been in Beaumont. We have found out day after day that this move was exactly what our family needed. Don't get me wrong we miss College Station, our friends, but moving to Beaumont has opened so many doors for us that would  have never opened if we were still in College Station in this time of our lives. It's been so long since I have posted a blog -- so get ready for updates & just some plain ole "blogging my thoughts!"

Even though life has been amazing -- that definitely doesn't mean that it has been calm. The last couple of months have been busy. Jeremiah & myself moved to Beaumont on August 5th. Michael's job couldn't let him go so fast & without someone to take his spot. So we lived apart for exactly 4 weeks.  It was a VERY difficult 4 weeks for all three of us. We made weekly trips to Conroe to meet Daddy for dinner, because it was getting to the point that Jeremiah would wave and say, "bye-bye" to Michael was just going to the bathroom. Then would whine & cry. Jeremiah would cry some nights saying, "dada" -- that's when we would basically cry ourselves to sleep. I won't lie, I spoiled Jeremiah those 4 weeks because I allowed Jeremiah to sleep with me most of the time. It was rough getting him to sleep in his own bed once we got into our house. But that's neither here nor there. ; )




The way we were wanting our family to be those 4 horrible long weeks away



We finally closed on our house on Sept 1st. We moved in the following weekend & that Friday after we closed & before we moved in -- Michael called me & said his boss JUST told him that when he came down to move his family into the new house -- he would stay & start in Beaumont that Monday. It was the best news ON TOP of closing on our first home. It was a great weekend. We also were able to have the whole day Monday the 5th since we were both off for Labor Day. We moved EVERYTHING out of storage into our new home that weekend. & it was great to wake up Monday morning as a family & know that it was going to stay that way. We enjoyed a day of watching cartoons with our son that was going crazy of all the room he had to roam in our new home. While in College Station we lived in a condo that was about 900 sqft...and moved into a home that is 1331sqft. It was a huge change, but we ALL love it.

Myself, Marla(our AMAZING realtor), & Michael

Signing our lives away..haha!

Labor Day & the day we got to spend together & enjoy the space

I started my new job at Texas Healthcare Management on August 15th & absolutely love it. I am a billing clerk/coordinator there. I bill Medicare & Medicaid for hospice services for River City Hospice for our Austin & San Antonio locations. I absolutely love my job & enjoy going every day. Michael started his lateral move with Pepsi on September 6. So far, he loves it. His hours are better here in Beaumont than they were in College Station...and with that being said, Jeremiah & I are loving it too! I do work way more than I did in College Station - as I was a part-time receptionist to a full-time billing clerk -- but I LOVE IT. Michael & I get home about the same time every day -- which makes the evenings so much better.

Unlike "normal" people that would move into their house & have weeks before they have any company so they had time to unpack & get that house ready for the many visitors to their new home...we didn't. Ha, because we have come to realize that we are not normal...but "strange." ; ) We had about a week until we actually invited the most people that helped us with the move to come and enjoy a dinner made by us. We were so excited that we wanted to share it with them first before anyone else. We had my parents(which actually found the house & viewed it first & more than ANYONE will know), Nana & Grandaddy(which helped us move & much, much more), Aunt Breezy(but couldn't make it...but she was our "loan officer") && Amanda(which helped us move to Beaumont && into our house) Without those people this move wouldn't have happened AT ALL. They gave us all the support & help we needed to go through with this move, even though some "family" wasn't too happy about us moving -- some thought it was "so far away" and some thought it wasn't the best for us. But "they" really didn't know what was best. This get together was exactly what it was suppose to be. It was great to show everyone around & let them enjoy of our happiness.

Even though this was a great time in our lives there were some that tried to take the "happy" right out of this joyful time for us. Some accusations were made & some decisions were made by Michael & myself. They actually came real easy -- unfortunately. When someone that is "suppose" to be "family" hurts you with hateful, disrespectful beyond words, it comes VERY easy to say, "Goodbye." Like Michael pointed out to someone & told me, "I can't trust [this person] anymore. And I will not bring my wife & son in a position to get hurt again when [this person] can't hold in their feelings anymore." It's true, I was ready to cut this person out after the first. text I received & when Michael read it he was welling (but not really) to talk it through --- then this person made CRAZY accusations that I left Michael, that we caused our son's sickness...and other crazy stuff....& that was the end. Michael called me & said, "don't worry about [her/him] anymore. I feel sorry for the people that this affects that it shouldn't, but like Michael said -- there's no trust anymore. & when it's family -- that's the first thing you should have. I hated the fact this all happened ON the day that we closed for our first home..but jealousy is horrible.

Hilarious --- & excuse the language, but totally fits!

After the "our first home & thank you" party -- we had to plan Jeremiah's First Birthday Party! I couldn't believe & still can't really, that my baby is one. He's not a baby anymore, but I will call him "baby boy" until it's time not to -- believe me, there's a time when every mother should stop. ; ) We celebrated his birthday "day" at Chuck-E-Cheese & he played games & loved it! He's was mess, but throughout the day I had to come to these pictures & couldn't believe the changes in one year ----

9/16/2010

9/16/2011

Anyways, I had to send out eVites to family/friends we were wanting to invite since we didn't know the exact date until we actually moved into our house. I planned his birthday party in about 3 weeks -- call me crazy, I know. It was a great & I will blog just about it w/ pictures on a later date. This is a blog to just catch everyone up. But know he had a great day -- & we LOVED watching our boy show everyone his personality; especially for people that haven't been an active part in his life. He's a hoot, but it's easy to fall in love with him. His party was on the 24th -- of September.




I love some birthday cake



Aunt Vee even flew in for my party && got me a personalized cozy coupe

October 1st, I walked my first 5k with my employers/co-workers...and had a great time. It was something that opened my eyes, and had me thinking about doing more. After that walk, I went home and searched for more and found a couple of more and decided to sign up. I did my second one last weekend and after some "last minute" change of plans -- Michael actually joined Jeremiah & I and walked with us. It was funny because I wasn't sure if Michael would enjoy it, but afterwards he asked what other walks I signed up for because he might want to do them with us. It was a fun family filled day of saving the ta-tas! ; )

After we finished the walk to.....

save the ta-tas!!

Life has somewhat settled since his party -- I was a nervous wreck for about two months straight with the move, living away from Michael, planning Jeremiah's party, && Jeremiah's surgery. Yes, he had surgery September 27th to get tubes inserted. He did VERY well, and his two week check-up was full of great news. It was a crazy two months, and right when I thought it was fine and life was calming down -- it gets hard. Last week, it felt like deja vu of what happened weeks ago with someone in Michael's family. I have A LOT of decisions to make of what to do with the whole situation, and I will be praying a lot about it in the next few weeks until the decision has been officially made. I really should be praying that the decision I have to make and when I have to let someone of my decision that I will use the right words & not make the situation worse.



Life is crazy -- but I definitely wouldn't want it any other way -- well except for the "drama" that other people cause in my life. I LOVE my house, my family, my husband & my son! Wouldn't be the person I am without them. And no matter what God throws my way -- I'm thankful for the ones that will stick up for me && make me smile! My boy cracks me up no matter what mood I am in. : ) See? You smiled too, huh?! ; )





Will the whirlwind I call life ever calm down?

Seriously, since we found out that we were moving life hasn't slowed down at all. We got all of our stuff moved into our storage unit here in Beaumont. It took a lot of friends and family to get it done, but we did it. The first week of us being here was rough. Michael only has his usual Sunday/Monday off. Needless to say, we only get about two days with him out of the whole week; talk about ROUGH!

The first week was rough in so many ways. Jeremiah had me find a pediatrician way to fast and without a "meet and greet." He came down with a 103 fever, where my mom and I had to give him a cold bath to help break the fever. We finally thought that we got him on the road of recovery, after two doctor's appointment and two different antibiotics. (Later you will find out we definitely weren't on the road to recovery!) I had taken a week off in between my last day at Dunlap Financial Services in College Station, to my first day at my new job here in Beaumont. Thank goodness I did, because that was when I was running around Beaumont getting medications and doctor's appointments. It wasn't a "vacation" by no means.

Michael came back Saturday to stay the weekend with us, which was great. We enjoyed the time together and now more than ever. The weekend did go by way too fast for my liking, but reality sat in when he left Monday evening and tears poured out. I cried like a baby, especially when Jeremiah started saying, "bye-bye da-da!" Oh it was horrible. I started my new job Monday - which orientation took place until Tuesday. Wednesday I started the real training process and I had a feeling that I would love the job. After three days, I had a great feeling about it. Jeremiah started his "new" daycare Tuesday, I had some weird feelings throughout the week, but it came to another new level Friday when I left bawling my eyes out. I was so upset called his first daycare in College Station begging them to come to Beaumont. I miss A Special Place so much and this move would be PERFECT to every extent, if A Special Place was here in Beaumont. But that can't happen, and I realize that, but it's my job to find a daycare for my little man that works best for all of us. I have found a new daycare that he will start next Monday. I have heard nothing but wonderful things about this new daycare. Let's pray that this is the last time I have to pay a registration fee, here in Beaumont Texas for a daycare.

The weekend came and in the midst of getting excited about Michael coming to visit again, Jeremiah started throwing up randomly and didn't stop until last night. We had a great weekend though, we went to a local waterpark Saturday and Sunday and we had a blast! Jeremiah LOVED the waterpark. Daddy had to leave once again yesterday; and I hated it just like I did last weekend. It's our life, though for right now. And all I can do is pray that God helps Michael, Jeremiah and myself through this rough time and makes us all stronger in the end. I also had to miss work today (which I HATE to do) because Jeremiah wasn't able to keep anything down last night and come to find out his double ear infections weren't gone, and he now has fluid build up behind his eardrum which is causing him to throw up. He's on a three-day antibiotic shot that is administer at the doctor office every morning, oh it's horrible! If this doesn't take care of it this time, we will need to see an ENT in two weeks for further treatment. I'm praying these shots work the magic it's suppose to but if not, I believe that it'll work out in the end for us.

On to good news! We are stilling in the process on buying our first house; we're waiting for the appraisal report to come in and then we'll take the next step. They have already done some repairs on it that were in contract and we're really happy with the work that has been done. We're really excited about closing this chapter of our lives and starting a new one in our home. I can't wait to have our home to ourselves, and to have Daddy with us for good.
Jeremiah and I are enjoying living with Granna and Granpuh while we wait on the house. It definitely helps since Michael isn't with us, so it isn't lonely...Jeremiah LOVES seeing Granna and Granpuh every day for sure! He's knowing his boundaries...well, he found out the boundaries with them aren't that tight...and with Mommy and Daddy he definitely has boundaries.

With everything I have said in this blog, I love seeing Jeremiah bond with Granna and Granpuh but I can't wait to have my little family together in the same house...and most importantly, in our first home! This move is what was needed for our family, but at times it's tough to see it when my baby is sick, when we're having problems with the daycare only after one week, and when I'm not with my husband all the time and Jeremiah clearly misses his Daddy...but like I keep saying, "it's for the best!"

Just pray that this new daycare is the ONE, my husband is able to move down here for good, and we get to move into our new home soon!

It takes "A Special Place"

Working in a daycare for almost 2 years, I knew exactly what I wanted in a daycare and what I did NOT want in a daycare. Michael and I went one Friday afternoon and toured four daycares. I left two of them crying, saying "I don't think so!", one of them was totally out of the question when I saw one of the teachers use to work for the daycare I worked at, but the last one...ohman, the last one I left saying, "I can see myself leaving Jeremiah there and feeling comfortable with it." I went in a couple more of times, surprise visits and all were at different times of the day. I made a deposit; never saw anything I didn't like and every time I was there Sandi(the director) was very welcoming and allowed me to walk around.

January 12th came way too fast for me, it was the first day of daycare for my little four month old. The night before I cried myself to sleep; not because of the place I was leaving him, but because I HAD to leave my baby boy for the first time. I cried getting ready that morning, and hugged him so tightly after I got him changed and dressed and whispered in his ears, "It's going to be alright...don't be mad at Mommy." I called Michael when I was leaving the house and he knew that it was best for him to meet me there to help me transition. Oh the teachers - specifically, Kristi, Desi, Sarah/director - Sandi/owner - Almira didn't know what was about to hit them...I was a wreck, a COMPLETE mess. I bawled handing him to them, but I knew...my Mommy's instincts weren't lurky...it was just Mommy didn't want to leave him. I remember looking into his room one last time before walking out of the door and Mrs. Desi handed me the whole box of tissues...."Here you go." Oh she is a sweety! (I only took like 5!)

Today was basically same thing, instead I was picking him for the last time from A Special Place. Today was his last day there. It takes special people to take care of babies all day long, and let me tell you...those people are amazing and special all in one. Over the past few months, Jeremiah has been titled "one of the favorites." It's good to hear good things about your baby no matter how he acts at home. ; ) He was spoiled at daycare, and he loved each one of those girls to death! Every morning to drop off, he had a smile on his face and kicking legs with his arms going nuts. That right there made me feel great about leaving him every morning. Funny Story -- We donated his jumper to them and Michael dropped it off this past Monday. Jeremiah went with him and Mrs. Kristi held him while Michael unloaded it, well when it was time for them to leave....Jeremiah didn't want to go back to Michael. Michael told me that it didn't make him feel good, I said every time he did that to me it made me feel great. He looked puzzled, then I replied with "That's how you know he loves the people that takes care of him and he's been take care of well!"

We got home and I held him again saying, "It's going to be alright...don't be mad at Mommy." I know this move is for the best, I really do and I'm excited but we're not talking about finding care for my pet fish, this is my child, my sweet baby boy. I pray that I find a place as great as A Special Place in Beaumont. This move would be PERFECT if they could come with, but after begging them for the past few weeks....I know it's not going to happen. : )

It's takes "A Special Place" to take care of my baby...and we definitely found it!

What a Whirlwind - Part II

After finding out that we were moving to Beaumont, TX; we immediately started looking at houses to rent. We really weren't thinking of buying a house, because well -- quite frankly, this was happening so fast, I didn't have time to think of the other option of buying a house. Renting was the only thing in my mind. I found a couple of homes that would have been "okay" and a few houses that were perfect, but were in a "not so good of a town or part of town." That's when we started to discuss of the possibility of buying a house. We were just throwing ideas out and about; and really got serious when my mom started to talk about it, and really calmed our minds about it being way out of our price range. She/We contacted a realtor, my mom's realtor, and she also helped to calm our minds and told us what we should stay around for price range and our monthly mortgage would be in our price range. And so the hunting began...but we contacted a lady to see if we could get pre-approved, but she really didn't give us the best of outlook. So we really thought we were done. We were going to rent...until my Aunt Breezy heard we were wanting to buy, so she said to give her our information and she would see what her bank could do for us....

We kept this a COMPLETE secret except for my parents that are the ones that drove around looking at houses. And of course, my Aunt Breezy. We were pre-approved last week...remember when I mentioned Michael saying that it's weird how everything worked out last post about Beaumont...well, in the midst of waiting to be pre-approved my parents had a found an adorable house that they saw the beginning of the week for us. They fell in love with house for us, and I fell in love with the pictures I saw. We immediately sat down and talked about our options. We hadn't for sure heard back from the bank, until Wednesday, I believe. Michael left Thursday evening and went to spend the night with my parents to see the house early Friday morning....our plan was if he liked it then when we put in an offer and after a weekend in Austin with my sister, Brett, and family we would make the drive to Beaumont to spend the night so I could see the house Monday and hopefully sign some papers. Hilarious, because our plan was exactly what we did. We made an offer Friday morning by the time Michael got home the sellers came back with a counter and about 30 minutes later Michael and I accepted it. We had an amazing weekend in Austin (More about this in a later post along with pictures!), and yesterday we signed the papers.

It was the first time I saw the house in person, and I fell in love with it all over again. I can't wait until it's official -- and to make it our own! We had the inspection today -- should get the report tomorrow or Thursday. This is an exciting time in our lives. We couldn't be any more happier. The remark, "That's a change in events!" was made when I told the big news to family via texts, and my response was, "Not to us...it's exactly what we've been planning for a week now." If it's meant to be....it will work out like a plan.




Our First Home